by Cowboy Bob Sorensen This may sound callous, but I have mixed feelings about not having to answer to Charlene. Do not disunderstand me, she did not police or nag me, but I wanted to please her. That was often in the back of my mind. Now I have used this dubious freedom and let things go, even developing some bad habits. (Those have to change.) I have a reluctance to do some things because she is not here and I want her input. When it comes to finances, I have to plow ahead. Shopping cart with groceries, Unsplash / Karsten Winegeart Some things I say as a widower in a one-bedroom apartment obviously will not apply to many people, but mayhaps there are some things that people can draw from or adapt to their own situations. Further these things may apply to those who are not bereaved. As I said before, Charlene would not want my life to come to a halt because hers did. She would want me to survive and even thrive, doing what's best for me. Rent costs and electric usage are mo...
by Cowboy Bob Sorensen On September 20, 2023, my beloved Charlene went to be with the Lord. This was a few weeks after my open-heart surgery and the restrictions that came with it. The grief fog , legal matters, lingering effects from general anesthesia, and other things were an overwhelming combination for me. At one point, I was considering doing a swan dive off the Kingston-Rhinecliff Bridge . I sought out a church when I did not know if she was going to live or die, and the pastor essentially talked me down from the bridge. Kingston-Rhinecliff Bridge from Poet's Walk, Red Hook, NY, Unsplash / Cowboy Bob Sorensen Because of financial problems (I was unable to return to work, for one thing), I had the ideations again. Those have been settled, as I'll demonstrate. First, dental problems. With apprehension and reluctance, I had to go to Westchester Medical Center to have my jaw examined. The route involved crossing that very bridge. I was confident that I could do so without e...